I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize