I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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