I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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