i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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