dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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