FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We were destined to go to rehab together
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
