i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Randomize
