Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.

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  (425): So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way. http://tfl.nu/01f8
  Replies (22) Good night (745) Bad night (1649)
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  (949): View more from California

  I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful

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  (949): I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful http://tfl.nu/bv6a
  Replies (22) Good night (3579) Bad night (1006)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"

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  (919): i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles" http://tfl.nu/049n
  Replies (63) Good night (13142) Bad night (1265)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)

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  (803): I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack) http://tfl.nu/29kp
  Replies (21) Good night (5221) Bad night (712)
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  (510): View more from California

  He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.

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  (510): He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him. http://tfl.nu/gqvc
  Replies (13) Good night (915) Bad night (3501)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

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  (918): Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch. http://tfl.nu/cew3
  Replies (14) Good night (4758) Bad night (1192)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets

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  (847): Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets http://tfl.nu/vbys
  Replies (8) Good night (4305) Bad night (1193)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop

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  (217): Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop http://tfl.nu/m1fy
  Replies (13) Good night (6841) Bad night (1697)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb

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  (918): When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb http://tfl.nu/ycga
  Replies (3) Good night (1013) Bad night (2288)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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  (573): I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot. http://tfl.nu/yflo
  Replies (5) Good night (3987) Bad night (1117)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.

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  (817): Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent. http://tfl.nu/lzjs
  Replies (6) Good night (2950) Bad night (1100)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.

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  (914): Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/4mfa
  Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (654)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Whiskey??

  (706): View more from Georgia

  It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...

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  (574): Whiskey?? (706): It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale... http://tfl.nu/yixa
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (1124)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom

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  (509): I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom http://tfl.nu/1mdt
  Replies (0) Good night (544) Bad night (404)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying

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  (225): Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying http://tfl.nu/s94h
  Replies (6) Good night (369) Bad night (436)

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