So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.