Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.

  (212): View more from New York

  i hate you

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  (813): i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you. (212): i hate you http://tfl.nu/mlwn
  Replies (20) Good night (4885) Bad night (1222)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty

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  (914): Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty http://tfl.nu/3drg
  Replies (12) Good night (723) Bad night (4656)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.

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  (845): Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science. http://tfl.nu/ee2g
  Replies (20) Good night (7098) Bad night (781)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".

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  (910): After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could". http://tfl.nu/pxbj
  Replies (22) Good night (8275) Bad night (1986)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.

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  (250): I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk. http://tfl.nu/hrak
  Replies (4) Good night (3461) Bad night (950)
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  (949): View more from California

  you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.

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  (949): you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club. http://tfl.nu/2ky9
  Replies (9) Good night (2617) Bad night (980)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.

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  (513): I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting. http://tfl.nu/f03u
  Replies (3) Good night (1121) Bad night (796)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.

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  (250): I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5qpa
  Replies (12) Good night (2299) Bad night (725)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house

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  (812): Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house http://tfl.nu/563g
  Replies (2) Good night (1157) Bad night (519)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...

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  (315): Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive... http://tfl.nu/b7nd
  Replies (9) Good night (956) Bad night (540)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.

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  (360): Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student. http://tfl.nu/vc6z
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (304)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.

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  (804): Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me. http://tfl.nu/u8ne
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (355)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?

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  (617): Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment? http://tfl.nu/2ow0
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (365)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?

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  (615): Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH? http://tfl.nu/vznl
  Replies (7) Good night (426) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.

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  (773): I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful. http://tfl.nu/5jgt
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (258)

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