It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."