How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
