even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
