Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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