maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
