so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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