well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
