And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
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Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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