so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
