Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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