I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize