i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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