NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
