i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
