Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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