I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
