Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
