I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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