So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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