everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
