i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Help me help you realize you are a moron
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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