So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
