You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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