The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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