I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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