Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just pee around me
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
