I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
