just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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