No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
