You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
