Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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