office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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