well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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