So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
