when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
