i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
