why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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