Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
