.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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