his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
