His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
