Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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