we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
