Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
