There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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