so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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