if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
