Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you had me at cake vodka
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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