Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
