id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
