I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
