The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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