Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
