Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
