No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
